Tony Barlow

I have struggled with anxiety most of my life. My name is Tony Barlow and I attend the Haslet Campus.

I was married for seven years. I had a wonderful wife and a great stepson. I had a job that provided for my family really well, a job that I was great at. I was miserable. Most of it didn’t make sense. Anxiety kind of does a crazy thing to you. It tells you a story that’s not true and you make decisions based on that.

I attended the NFW Campus for about seven years, but I sat in the back, in the very, very back. One of my biggest fears was that the people at the front door would shake my hand and I would have to shake their hand back. I dreaded the part where we would stand up and say hi to somebody.

I moved to Montana, which is probably not the best idea when your family

can’t move with you. My now ex-wife and I talked one day, and she said she wanted to be by herself. I did not see that coming. I was not in a good place or state of mind. I yelled at God as loud as I could and told Him I hated Him.

The weirdest thing happened that I still don’t understand. I could see all the times when He had tried to help me, and I literally discounted it and didn’t pay attention. I don’t think I wanted to end my life, but I knew I didn’t want to live like that anymore.

I told God that I would do whatever He wanted me to do, as long as I didn’t have to live like this anymore. I’ve always been a believer but never was a

follower.

I called people I hadn't talked to for twenty years and I ended up doing

things that I previously would have discounted. The guy who didn’t want

to talk to anybody actually stands out front and greets people at the Haslet Campus.

Even though I had been going to church off and on for seven years, I

decided to participate in the Starting Point class. I also joined the Better

Man Small Group. I thought that was a good title for someone like me. I

connected with a group of guys who support and help each other. One of

the things they ask us to do is sit at the same table each week. I think that six or seven of us have now all been baptized.

It’s been a big change. I’m hoping that if someone else is struggling with

their mental health, even though it’s not easy to talk about it, they will fifind somebody to ask for help.